Monday, May 22, 2006

Fame at last. Almost

So we got one of our cards in Greetings Today magazine. Surely cause enough to get the champagne flowing at Stripey Jumper Towers? Err - not quite. Although the card looked magnificent, the accompanying words didn't really make much sense.

Dave's all-new all-time favourite songs

Waiting for the great leap forward - Billy Bragg
Born under a bad sign - Richard Hawley
Black and white - The Upper Room
Chinese rocks - Johnny Thunders
Side streets - Saint Etienne
Street Life - Roxy Music
The bitterest pill - The Jam
I'm stoned in love with you - Stylistics
Hard rock hallelujah - Lordi ( It's the arockalypsde! )
The man comes around - Johnny Cash

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Grumpy old man

These are the things I hate so much, they have sent me into a frenzy of bitterness and anger, leaving me unable to do any work on cards today:

Photo libraries. They're rubbish, aren't they? You have to pay huge royalties for pictures which are slick and soulless, shot by someone with no imagination whatsoever. The disease is spreading. Newspapers in this country seem to use nothing but these photos.

Radio ads for Mother's Day. Why do they assume that all mothers would like nothing more than a CD of songs by people like James Blunt, Julio Iglesias (Spanish for "churches", trivia fans) and Enya. Enya! What's that all about? Does being a mother automatically mean you have no taste in music? Pah!

People who ring before 8am. Yes, people-who-do-Liz's-eyebrow-plucking, that's YOU I'm talking about. If you want a coherent conversation, ring at a more sensible time.

TVNZ. They actually cut bits out of Coronation Street so they can fit more ads in. Greedy bastards. Why do they think that we'd rather watch that mad woman from Briscoes telling us about their 55th sale of the year? Don't they have enough money already?